Dearest Daughter,
The title of this letter needs context - it's a pop culture reference of a theory that white heterosexual males often think about the Roman Empire. It's speculated that the reasons behind why they think about it frequently has to do with its connection to power, war, conquest - words often associated to male aggression. I suppose I didn't need to explain the reasons but want to keep it in this letter in case you were curious.
So going back to the phrase...people started using "My Roman Empire" to describe something that they think about often. With that long intro, here are My Roman Empires:
1) How I live out my existence. Why I am here on this earth. These are my most frequent and heaviest thoughts. I sometimes wish these thoughts could leave me alone...but then I realize I'm the one who is having these thoughts. Haha if only it were easy to control ones own thoughts.
2) My body. I'm not 100% happy with my body. Is anyone? Your halmuni is staying with us which amplifies this consciousness. Most of the memories I hold of my interactions with halmuni had to do with how I looked or how I presented myself. It's not a surprise that I'm so obsessed with my body, or moreso my dissatisfaction of it. I've spent my adult life reprogramming my mind to love my body, and it's still a work in progress.
3) You (my children) and my life partner (your dad). A lot of the times, my thoughts of you coincides with how I live out my existence. My actions, my thoughts, my words are no longer just my own. They affect you. Just like nature intended, like a beautiful tree, you're already perfect -- I'm just here to make sure you get the best soil, light, water - that you're not accidentally hurting yourself or others...and I just hope I don't mess it all up.
I hope to know your Roman Empire(s) one day.
I love you,
Your Mama
