Dearest Daughter,
Here are some things that you have taught me:
1) It's okay to take time to sit with our emotions.
I find myself often jumping into problem-solving mode anytime I sense any adversity in our lives. But you've been teaching me that that sometimes makes things worse. That sometimes, you just need someone to sit next to you. No talking, no trying to make things better, no trying to identify the issue or determine what you're feeling. Simply being next to you helps. It used to make me uncomfortable, sitting in silence, in the unknown. Now, I've not only accepted that this is how I can be the best support for you, but I've also learned to do this even for myself when I'm feeling some type of adversity or resistance in my life.
2) Speaking of time, you constantly remind me how time is a social construct.
Time bends in such odd ways while coexisting in this world with you. Your existence alone and how tangible your changes are (height, critical thinking, word comprehension, your preferences) makes time seem like it's moving in warp speed. How we choose to fill the time has shifted immensely, too, ever since you came into our lives. Same with how you take your time.
3) Connection is the key.
It's more apparent to me now than ever that the key to resolving or even keeping from conflicts from arising or intensifying is connection. It's a magical thing. How a meltdown, a screaming fit, a cold shoulder - can all be magically resolved by connecting with you. And it's made me see the world in a new light. How all this dissonance we see in society...so much of it comes from disconnect. From both sides. But as a parent, I do see the need for the older, the more experienced, the more mature person to step up to recognize it and initiate. It can be hard though. It sometimes is for me, b/c I can be caught up in my emotions, in my ego, in my worries, that I sometimes misinterpret or completely overlook the blaring signals you send my way. Like bombs, very conspicuously, you will under or overreact to mundane problems or happenings. I've learned it's best to connect first - then figure out the rest.
Love,
Your Mommy
